Sunday, June 05, 2005

Clarification!!! Leaving the Colour Of Blogosphere!!!

That’s always one thing that everyone should know. I think it’s my time to reveal out my
identity. And this would be my last post. I’ll shut my blog down one more time.

I must make one clarify to my friends, Claire, Mun Ling and Yshin,

The first thing I must make a disclaimer. As I told YShin before, I’m actually a kiasu. I think. This blog is for my readers and supporters. For those who feel pissed, well, please go to other blog. I’m having a different identity with myself. I think differently during different occasions. This is my blog, a blog for me to ENTERTAIN DEAR READERS. In actual fact, there’re not everything 100% real on my blog. Some are true, and some are fake. And one more thing, I blog to my readers because of something, really for something.

There are also a few reasons that I posted the ‘Screw Them!!!’ post. First, if I didn’t use the word ‘Serve You!!!’, maybe this is a post which will only lead people to just a normal read, but not receiving any moral value. As I insert the word ‘Serve them!!!’, it also means I am urging people not to do the same thing as Claire. Just imagine if I only put ‘my deepest condolence to Claire’, readers will just think as this is just a normal situation that always happens in Malaysia, and start to pity you without themselves realize that they also do the same thing with Claire. But, I asked my friends about such situation, whether should I pity or should I say ‘Screw You!’. And the result I have was, ‘Screw you!!!’. Among ten people that I’ve did a survey on them, 3 of them pity you, including me (*note, as a friend, I’m also pitying you), but the other 7 people chosed to vote for ‘Serve Them!!!’. As a result, I got no choice, put just to post the ‘Serve Them!!!’

Second, I think there are also many things that you’ve told the others about me before, ‘Serve that Mango!!!’.

There are not many friends I had since I entered Form 1. The only friends that came from the same school with me was Shun Jia and Juan Wen. I was in the third class, with Clarissa was my class monitor. But later, I was transfered to the first class with you, YShin. I was lonely and isolated. But at last, I have no choice. But to step in the difficult path, I have no choice, but to join the gang with Elbert. Everyday, we’re just like a fool fooling around. You still remember how you fooled me? You still remember how I helped you during the love letter case? My friend, you did apologize for that, but only for that. You’re still in your world, and didn’t accept me as your gang. You still take us (boys) like we are the true monsters. The last best friend of mine, Wooi Peng was dropped to another class the following year.

The year followed, Form 2 was a memorial year for me. This was a pretty milestone for me, as I started to get to know you, dear YShin. The year I represented chess for my school. You were there to care about me. Do you know one thing? You’re kind, you’re friendly to your friends, and that’s why, everyone worships you, including me, until now. I wish to be like you, but I know I won’t. You cheered me up when I was fall. As you were closed to me, every Friday I helped you to wash the class’ glass when you were not around. You were fined, and I paid for you, something that you didn’t realize about it. I won’t ask the money from you, since you threat me that well at that time. But things went unsuccessful during the third year.

Form 3, the year that I was neglected, yet I still think to myself, ‘I still got many friends around’. This is the sentence that I’ve always use to comfort myself. I’m lonely, SHE (Shun Jia, Pui Mun and Eileen) didn’t bother about me. YShin was too busy with other stuffs, like prefect, co-curricular activities, Chin Yew... Others were gone. Kit Lum and Keng Soon were fully ‘occupied’ by YShin and SHE. I began to feel the loneliness. I got not many friends. So, i eat alone in the canteen each day and when my friends were talking about gals and online games, I would only shy away, as there was nothing that I could share with them, and by the way, they wouldn't even bother to listen to all my craps. Things were so wrong and miserable. Sitting at the back of the class alone not being notice, i doubt that my classmate could list my name as their friends. this is me, someone who just own a lousy handphone, can’t even afford a ‘pan-mee’ sometimes, someone that can't even speak english properly, and of course my look was so uncool. The only time that i have alot of friend is during "exam season", when everyone would come to me and asked questions about Maths. I was so desperate for friends, and therefore just give out whatever i have hoping that ppl would like me. But, it's just temporary, soon they forget about you once exam is over. Hai, alone again... Other people, “Serve the Mango!!!”

Those were the days. The first time I had my gathering with you all. But was not invited. I just felt, ‘WHY AM I HERE?’. At last, Kit Lum boosted his courage to call me to join you. And I agreed. The day we BBQ…… but I still that I’m a guest who comes without being invite.

After the PMR exam, you’ve planned to have a class trip to PD. You urged everyone to go, and you lefted me out. I was thinking to myself, ‘WHY AM I HERE?’ Our tutor, Pn Norlia, can just only give some advices to me, saying to me, ‘Life is just like politics. You must know how to play it.’ Other people, “Serve the Mango!!!”

Year number 4. The dilemma dropped even worse. I got no choice. But once again, I was invited by Kit Lum to join Yik Han, Eileen, Pui Mun’s birthday party. Thatday, no one wants to talk to me. Elbert and his cousin, Wei Jeat, were busying fooling at Pui Mun, Eileen and Shun Jia. I was thinking to myself, “Why those assholes who like to fool people will get attention and good threatment; whereas the one who really appreciate his friends were not?” I just hope that someone will tell me, “To the world, you are just a person; But to a person, you're the world.” For the past 4 years before that, no one celebrates, wishes or even knows my birthday, whereas, for the others like SHE, YShin, Chin Yew, Jeffrey…… During the photography session of the party, every guest were there to snap pictures, and I’m the only one who was left out. I sit inside the hall, crying alone, instead of going for the photography session. And I hate photography, until now. At last, Kit Lum’s bro found out that I was the only one who was left out. I cried out loud, asking why am I alone. Why I got no right to sign the card to wish them a happy birthday (I can pay for that). Yeah, I got a good perspective of being proud to be called "nerd". Later, everyone did an apologize to me. I appreciate Yik Han and Chin Yew very much. Yik Han passed me his birthday card, and told me, “Please sign for me. You deserve that.” But things still went on. Nothing is being changed. I mean how can they be so fake and smile to me in such a cunning way on that day?

The mid year of our Form 4, I don’t quite understand what is going on actually and the only thing that we’re discussing at that moment was ‘Shun Jia was lefted out by Eileen and Pui Mun’. As a kindman, we gathered again (yet, I was again uninvited)during the mooncake festival night. And we’ve successfully herd them back. Yet, I gained nothing. I asked myself one more time, ‘WHY AM I HERE?’. Others were just thinking, ‘Screw this Mango!!!’

The lst year celebration of Shun Jia, Wooi Peng, my birthday was held in Genting. I didn’t gain anything. @#$%@#$% No present, no card. Just a happy birthday at McD. I was having my bubur McD.

I cry every night. But who knows as my face was always smiling the whole way of? Who knows my dilemma? Who cares my dilemma? Do you?

I worked hard in the editorial board, planned everything. And due to some reasons, I was not being elected as an editor. Others were just thinking, ‘SCREW HIM!!!’ I know that there would be someone who will overthrow my position. I know my position as a sub-editor was jeopardy. But yet, I still did my best as a sub-editor. Who really knows this? Michelle Ho called me up together with the editor to the KFC. There’s one thing that insulted me. She told me, “If you just hunt for a page by yourself, then you can now go downstairs, go middle of the road, and naked yourself. And the next day, every newspaper’s headline will talk about you.” Once again, “SCREW ME!!!” And from that onwards, I used my fake name, to start a blog.

The exam time, Chin Yew was ammited to the hospital. YShin, you called and hope everyone will visit him. You lefted me out once again. Even if Yik Han doesn't want to go (he got his own business), but you all begged him like hell. I was sitting aside, thinking when I'll be like him. That Friday, before you visited Chin Yew, I was having my lunch with them. Only then, Wei Jeat (just imagine this guy's ability) realized that I was lefted out. He called SHE to join me. Guess what is their answer, "Sure he can go to the hospital. TRANSPORT? By his own!" Again I was insulted. I thought to myself, 'Where am I? Why I am here?'

I’m also a pitier towards your case. But imagine, there’ll be always someone who is worse than you. I’ve lost one of my precious thing in my life, and many of my friends (also Christians) told me, “Screw You!!!”. have you ever think that we boys were always insulted and always cursed by you? Do you realized that? Being insulted? I’m also a by-passer. My blog is just not mend to entertain the others, but also give a wise advise towards them. Just imagine…… I find a new world, together to share some stories with dear readers.

If you felt offended, then my deepest and my sincere apologize to you. I’m sorry to you all. I got no intention to make a fun of you. For the payback. I’ll publish the word ‘MY DEEPEST APOLOGIZE TO YOU’, and will close down all the previous posts that I’ve written before. Anyway, back to the world theme, PEACE! As now, I request you, to accept me, the one whom I'm always be.

Dear readers and supporters,

For the readers here, I have to say sorry. I slept at 5.40 a.m. at this morning and woke up at 10.20 a.m. just to hurry for this post. To CLL, Juju, CMM, CLF, JK, DG73, Kevin, Australian lenglui, Jason, NCH, KK, Ah Yoong, happiness-happiness, Auntie Au, my favourite doc, and others, my bow to you. I’ve blog for 3 months, and I gained lots from here. Comments, traffics and your random thoughts.

It has come to the time for me to make an important announcement - Yes, I have "decided" to leave the colour of the blogosphere for good. (sorry for the disappointment...)

I have to abandon my blog and could never associate myself with the name "Sweetness Of The Mango" again.

Well, like I said before, don't be too distressed about all these stuffs. I'm not departing to the underworld or something like that. I'm just disappearing from blogosphere for my whole life, but can still be very well contacted for a beer or some intimate evening to spend with.

Just promise me guys, keep blogging. It's my turn to read.


* I will shut down the whole comment system to avoid readers and unsatisfiers to argue on my blog. It’s time to search for peace. PEACE!!!

A lesson to dear blogger,


Every minute, a new blog is born and a blogger account is taken. Blogs to me now look more like a trend than anything else, whether you like it or not, people are starting to talk alot on the internet. Then, an innocent guy say or comment on something he had never thought would get him into trouble, and the next day he got sued.

So many political and tech blog out there, and mostly were own by teenager like us. During their account subscription, how many of them had really read through the legal terms and agreement before clicking on the checkbox. It was after i read a book about e-business and and web ideas that i started to realize, how dangerous it is to cross the border and to flirt around with the law.
Few days ago, i was asked by my fren about the reason i was shutting down my previous blog site, and started to change my way of writting. Its true that i could draw a lot of attention by writing about politics, product review and being critical about the current issues. Since its a weblog, supposingly we can write whatever that we want, but unfortunately, it isn't the case.

I can write about a country's political issue, and critisize it. The next day, the "SWAT" team will swamp into my room and send me to Pudu jail. As a publisher and the owner of a web site, i would be held accuntable with whatever content that i had written. Its hard sometimes, when you wan to say something, but the reality prevent you from doing so. Shouting out for everyone, being called a hero, and when you got into trouble, who's there to help you. To relate it to some fact, let me show you all a true story about an employee losing his job just because of his blog site.

"On Jan 28, 2005, I was terminated from Google" , Jen wrote on his blog. "Either directly or indirectly, my blog was the reason. This came as a great shock to me because two days ago, we had looked at my blog and removed all inapproprate content. If i was told to shut down this blog, i would have."

This story was taken from this web site.

Therefore, sometimes its not about telling the truth and gathering the crowd. We have to make sure that whatever offensive content that we put on the weblog won't get us into any trouble.Who will ever stand by you, remember ppl just come and read and they just go.
We are the one taking the risk, don't be dumb.

trackback from Mr Kiasu (thanks for the permission from Mr Kiasu)

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